Last week I remembered why I like to shop in a store where I can actually see and experience the item I am considering purchasing.
Recalling that very thing was easy. I ordered something online that was entirely different than I anticipated when it arrived.
Returning the item was very easy—according to the invoice.
Just clip here, attach here, glue here, keep this, throw away that, call about this, call UPS, USPS or Fed Ex or just give up and keep the darned thing!
The “antique” version of ordering online was easy. You simply found the item you wanted to order in the Sears Roebuck or Montgomery Ward catalog and ordered it by mail.
In a few days, the item or items arrived by Emmet Cook’s car and he put it in your Elmwood, Nebraska, mailbox.
Usually, it was exactly what you thought it was going to be and you were happy to keep it.
On those rare occasions when it didn’t fit or whatever—it was simple to wrap it back up in the thick brown paper in which it arrived and put it back in the mailbox to return.
My item arrived in one of those heat sealed vinyl shrouds that I have not yet found a simple way of opening.
I manage to destroy most of it before I have freed whatever is inside. I couldn’t use it to send back my item.
By the way, does anyone remember the “good old days” when new versions of the Sears Roebuck and Montgomery Ward catalogs arrived each spring and fall? Oh, those were truly the days for this child of the 1930s.
A smaller Christmas version usually arrived right after Thanksgiving, keeping the family busy for the weeks before Christmas, looking and dreaming.
Each of those huge wishbooks pictured everything that could possibly be found in any huge department store.
There was everything from underwear to buildings pictured there to ponder. I’m certain there is a house still, not only standing but providing a comfortable home for someone in Syracuse that was ordered as a “kit” from a Sears catalog. I’m pretty certain the mailman didn’t deliver that one!
I had better get used to ordering online. Some of my favorite stores are leaving Lincoln.
I did everything possible to keep Shopko, Younkers and Sears open. I liked to shop in all of them.
What will I do on the first Wednesday of every month now? That is when I bought all of Miss Priss’s needs on the Senior Day discount! Boy, oh boy, am I ever glad I bought all of that kitty litter on Turquoise Thursday!
There is an old saying that goes something like this: “The more everything changes, the more it remains the same.”
Online marketing just seems to be an updated version of the good old catalog.
 Of course, the use for an outdated catalog is not the same as it used to be in my youth.
Those individual paper sheets torn from a catalog in the outhouse and crumpled until they were soft, would definitely cause a need for a plumber if they were used in the bathroom where my high-rise, low-water-volume flush toilet reigns supreme today.
I’m beginning to understand “why” people of my tender years decide it is just easier to get along with what you already have!